GET READY TO BOWL FROM BILL MURRAY

IN HOPES OF REINSTATING MONTHLY BOWLING, HERE’S HOW TO GET THOSE MUSCLES BACK IN SHAPE…..

Fear not my fellow CBC bowlers, one day soon (provided our beloved bowling alley survives the pandemic) we will once again meet for a morning of fun, comradeship, and exercise, with the emphasis on the latter.

Until that glorious day arrives, I have provided a list of exercises one can start now in order to help prevent any aches and pains that would surely arise after not using those bowling muscles for so long, once we all return to action.

1.  The Shoe Tie – I start with perhaps one of the easiest exercises, and one that needs no 
     explanation. If you haven’t had a good reason to get out and about, you probably have
     gotten used to wearing your slippers all day, every day. For this exercise simply bend
     over and tie your shoes, since Grandview Lanes has not yet stocked Velcro bowling shoes.
     I suggest you start easy and only tie your shoes in sets of 5 before lunch.

 
2.  The “Rocky” – most of us take 3 or 4 steps before rolling the ball down the lane, then it’s several steps back to the seating area. This exercise can be done indoors, but better yet – get yourself outside (socially distancing of course) and follow this routine – four steps forward, two hands over your head in the celebratory “Rocky” pose, and 6 steps back - repeat. It may sound silly, but you will be surprised to find complete strangers copying your actions (as opposed to those who grab their child by the hand and quickly move away.) 

3.  The Dip – For this exercise you will need some equipment. Bowling balls weigh roughly 5 pounds each (2.26796 kg for you younger bowlers). Not many of us actually have a five-pin bowling ball in our cupboards, so I suggest buying your milk in 4 litres jugs which coincidently weigh roughly 5 pounds. Hold the jug close to your chest. As you swing the jug forward, step forward with your left foot (right foot if you are left-handed) while bending your right knee (left knee if left-handed) almost to the floor. Repeat several times, ensuring that you do not do it for too long as it may spoil the milk or turn it into butter!

 
4.  The Stare –How many times have you rolled a bowling ball down the lane and stared at it
      to try and make it stay on your intended target? This is one secret that professional bowlers
      are reluctant to share. Every time you look in a mirror simply stare at one of your hairs (or
      eyebrows if you are bald) and try to make it move. This one can be practised anywhere,
      however if you do not want the reaction as outlined in exercise 2, it is best practised in the
      sanctity of your home.   
                                     
  5.  The High Five – For this exercise you require a rubber glove – 
       preferably a new, clean rubber glove like the ones sold for
       dishwashing purposes, a bulldog clamp, some twine and a nail.
       Hammer the nail above a doorway, tie one end of the twine
       around the nail and the other end around the bulldog clamp. Fill a rubber glove with your favorite beverage, fold the end over and seal it with the bulldog clamp. Now you simply practise giving high fives by slapping the glove. Once you have completed this exercise you can consume your beverage – a win-win  situation!

 
6.  The Joy – Best described by a little poem – finger snap, hand clap, a little jump or fist pump. Whatever way you choose to celebrate success on the lanes, practise your move several times a day following any kind of achievement, big or small – like when you remember to put 4 litres of milk on your grocery list.    

Just remember (quoting a Diana Ross song)” Some day we’ll be together.” Stay safe everyone.

Bill Murray