Devion's Views #156


Someone once said "If I can't take it with me, I'm not going!"

Good luck with that.

                                 INCHING OUR WAY EASTWARD

Vancouver Islanders reluctantly move closer to coastal mainlanders, as the natural moat between us shrinks by five millimetres every year.

Earthquake seismologists call the hundreds of tiny tremors occuring annually underneath the Island, a "tectonic dance".

These are felt only by sensitive monitors that record the movement of the Pacific plate slowly moving eastward and slipping below the North American plate.

As the locking-pressure builds and builds, it will inevitably result in "The Big One",  otherwise known as "It's time to SCREAM".

A "Big One" is categorized as a magnitude scale 9.0.

The last major Island earthquake (7.5) occurred in 1946.

The last "Big One" happened on January 27, 1700.

Geological evidence indicates such great earthquakes have occurred at least seven times in the last 3,500 years, a return interval of 400 to 600 years.

A magnitude 9.0 could happen along the Cascade Subduction Zone, a 1000 kilometre fault line that runs from Northern Vancouver Island to Northern California, anytime within the next 200 years.

A majority of the millions living along this 1000 km "Ring of Fire" remain unprepared, hoping it will not happen in our/their lifetime...and if it does, believe survivors may be worse off.

Consequently, best advice is to adopt a New Yorker's outlook..."just fuggedaboutit", and most do.

Meanwhile, some of what's happened of late in the Nutso-Profondo opera playing down south, starring the Emperor, his mute mini-me VP Mickey, and their Keystone Cops brigade...


Who wears a $39.95 jacket, in 96 degree F. Texas heat, carrying a message on the back "I really don't care do U"?

Marie Antoinette?


The fashion model, immigrant and First Lady of the Empire, Melania Trump, on her way to visit the incarcerated children of the week that celebrates World Refugee Day. 

(NB: Don't be too smug and never forget a similar traumatic experience - separating children from their parents - resonates to this day - and happened here not that long ago, with Aboriginals. A cruelty forced upon them by those then in authority colluding to put them down; the federal government and clerics.) 

Delivering such a bizarre message, written on a cheap garment, worn by an especially wealthy and fashion conscious model, while on a mission representing the Emperor (don't touch me, you creep), suggests other similar messages might come next, like "Let those poor brown children eat cake!".

Meanwhile, hubby 'Crazy Pants', having nearly exhausted his 'insult-everybody-list', recently zeroed-in on Canadians.

Leaving the Quebec G6 + 1 meeting (early and in a huff, especially about being lectured to by that scary Angela woman) to meet his new best-friend, 'Little Rocket Man'.

Aboard Air Force One, watching the 20 TV monitors, he blew a gasket and unloaded an insult laden trade mark bully-attack on Canada's PM, calling him "dishonest and weak".

His surrogates quickly piled on with "Trudeau stabbed our President (sorry, Great Supreme Leader) in the back."

This outburst was preceded by a testy phone call from the Emperor, informing 'Justin the Faire' that he ordered severe tariffs be placed on Canadian produced steel and aluminum, under the guise of "national security".

This was followed by shouting...Canadians burned down the White House during the War of 1812.

Fact #1: Canada did not exist in 1812.

Fact #2: British Troops were responsible for burning down the White House.

Fact #3: The Emperor remains immune to facts, history or knowledge about much of anything.

Not yet done, during a rambling speech to his followers (Cage Them All, Cage Them All), the self-described greatest leader in the history of the world, accused Canadians who cross the U.S. border to buy shoes of being smugglers.

Which left trade experts and apparel industry officials scratching their heads. 

"There was a story two days ago, in a major newspaper, talking about people living in Canada coming to the United States and smuggling things back into Canada because the tariffs are so massive. The tariffs to get common items back into Canada are so high that they have to smuggle 'em in. They buy shoes, then they wear them. They scuff 'em up. They make them sound old and look old. No, we're treated horribly."       - Donald J. Trump

A few journalists wondered aloud "Is he losing his mind?"

Fact #4: American made shoes are difficult to find with most U.S. shoe companies choosing to import their products for sale.

Fact #5: Under NAFTA, there are no Canadian tariffs on shoes "manufactured" in the U.S..

Fact #6: If a Canadian decides to purchase the Emperor's signature red "Make America Great Again" baseball cap, note the label "made in China".

Who currently leads the Keystone Cops faux-pas' parade that hasn't been fired yet?

The top official responsible for protecting the environment, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), Scott Pruitt.

Rather than protect human health and enforce environmental regulations, Pruitt, like his boss, rejects climate science and policy.

By rolling back dozens of regulations, he has become the greatest threat to the EPA in its entire existence.

...and it's getting worse, he controls the regulations for the disposal of hazardous waste  

The absurdity of 'the Emperor' signing Executive Orders and then contend everything is fixed, is patently insane.

Will elected representatives ever find the courage or continue to remain fearful of the bully, and silently wait for a sufficient number of concerned voters to do something to stop him...before its too late?

The democratic world nervously awaits.

                         And now, switching gears to something lighter

When you encounter someone on a walk, of the many ways to greet them, which do you use?

Does it depend on your mood, how you feel or whether you recognize the face but can't connect the name?

There's a wide selection of ways to pull it off "successfully".

As a public service, following is a list: (bet you've never seen one)

Hey - Hey man -  Hi -  How's it going? - How are you doing? - What's up? - What's going on? - What's new? - How's everything? - How are things? - How's life? - How's your day? - How's your day going? - Good seeing you - Nice to see you - Long time no see - Its been a while - Good morning - Good afternoon - Good evening - It's nice to meet you  - Pleased to meet you - How have you been? - How do you do? - Yo - Are you OK? - You alright? - Alright mate? - Howdy - Sup? - Whazzup? - G'day mate - Hiya.

Most of us have been in a large gathering speaking with someone who gazes around the room, obviously looking for the "important people", to talk with.

Telegraphs a lot about that person, n'est-ce-pas?

As we age (there's no such thing as ageing gracefully), the greeting most heard is "how are you feeling"; enquiring about the current state of your health and well being.

This leaves a few reliable choice responses:

"Fine!" and "Good" (which allows you to take a pass),or, "How much time have you got?"

The latter response usually triggers a friendly competition between two old codgers attempting to one-up each other about their personal list of aches and pains.

Dear reader: 

If you are, comme moi, having attained a vintage that allies you to the generation of maturing old farts who understand, yet reluctantly accept, that this is a time when having more medical practioners than friends is a fact of life.

Like the "tectonic dance" mentioned above, ours is akin to a "gereatric dance".. slowly shuffling along life's bumpy highway.

Regardless, never forget, every day is precious.

Use the time wisely; watch a dazzling summer sunset, hold the hand of someone you love, help a friend, attend a grandchild's concert, read lots of books, sit on a park bench and marvel at the beauty of Mother Nature's creations.

But, be wary of hugging strangers because you may end up in the hoosegow.

Enjoy the World Cup, cheer for the underdogs making history. So many players are demonstrating their prowess in the art of "taking a dive". Is there a football school for that?

While everyone is distracted, what country does Vlad plan to invade this time?

And stop worrying, better times are on the horizon.

Something to look forward to?

As of October 17th, Brownies-a-la-BC Bud will soon replace Nanaimo bars as the favoured confection provided to the "residents" of whatever quaint-named rest homes exist in your community.

The "incarcerees" who still somehow maintain their sense of humour, refer to them as  - Thanks A Lot Kids! Villa - Almost Heaven Homes - Geezer Glen - Farklempt Estates - Get Me Outta Here Gardens - The Happy Ending Centre For Fully Insured Seniors.

Don't laugh too much, you might spend your final days wandering around one of these places.

My plan is to age in place till I'm 100, receive my letter of congratulations from the Queen, then go down SCREAMING during "The Big One".

Now that's a classy ending.

Good luck with that!

Ron Devion, No Guts, No Glory